Author Archives: keeper

Have we lost our imagination?

Just a few decades back, people were in awe of things such as: dinosaurs, space travel, aliens, sea travel, flight, robots, etc.

We eagerly hopped on fantastic adventures to strange new worlds.

These days, all people seem to be interested in is other people.

What happened?

I have a theory. “New” things have become harder to come by.

So, without many “new” things to flaunt, all that remains are things we have always and will always be fascinated by:

Good stories involving people we care about (or involving people we can relate to).

The “Reminiscence Bump” – why memories from your youth stand out

“The reminiscence bump involves not only the recall of incidents; we even remember more scenes from the films we saw and the books we read in our late teens and early twenties. … The bump can be broken down even further – the big news events that we remember best tend to have happened earlier in the bump, while our most memorable personal experiences are in the second half. … The key to the reminiscence bump is novelty. The reason we remember our youth so well is that it is a period where we have more new experiences than in our thirties or forties. It’s a time for firsts – first sexual relationships, first jobs, first travel without parents, first experience of living away from home, the first time we get much real choice over the way we spend our days. Novelty has such a strong impact on memory that even within the bump we remember more from the start of each new experience.”
(written by Claudia Hammond)

Smartphone cameras steal your life

You might think the smartphone camera is a wonderful invention. It lets you capture moments that would otherwise be lost, because it’s always just a few seconds away, in your pocket.

But the smartphone camera is a sinister Life Stealer. It is convenient, so it tempts us to reach for it often.

Because we reach for it often, we interrupt our precious moments more frequently.

We think that when we capture moments with a camera or camcorder, we can keep them safe. We think we can preserve the perfect moment digitally, permanently.

This does take some stress away. It’s okay if we “miss” something, because we can go back and watch the video. It’s okay if it happened too quickly, because we can relive the moment over and over later.

But imagine if you didn’t have this magic memory capturing tool. Imagine that every moment disappears as quickly as it comes. Imagine that you can never take any special moment lightly, because that moment might never come again.

I think that would force you to pay attention.

Because you won’t think that you can “save it for later”. It would demand that you appreciate every moment because the present is all you have.

But we have the smartphone camera. And so we zip through life never fully experiencing anything, thinking that we can put off living in the moment. And that we can cherish and indulge in our memories some day later.

But of course that “some day” might never come, because when you’re always busy archiving memories, when will there be time to enjoy them? You can only do one thing at a time. If you’re too busy capturing the present or reliving the past, you miss out on right now.

And, what if, when you finally get around to appreciating your archived memories, it might be too late? Your kids might have grown up. Or you might be old. Or gone.

Caution: be suspicious whenever anyone tries to give you advice (+ a lesson about cognitive dissonance)

There is something ominous that you have to understand when anyone gives you advice.

They are not really giving you advice.

What they are really doing is two things: imposing their view of the world on you; and desperately reassuring themselves that they made the right choice.

When someone tells you to “settle,” do you know what they’re really telling you? That they settled.

When someone tells you “you’re not getting younger,” you know what they’re REALLY saying? That they have their own demons about their bodies and what their partner thinks of them.

They desperately want you to accept that you should settle, because God forbid – if you actually found happiness without setlling, it means they fucked up and missed out on happiness.

For example, as you discovered, all parents want to tell you their parenting style is the best. Why? Because if they don’t buy that lie, it means they screwed up.

What they’re all saying is PLEASE… PLEASEEEE listen to me. What I’m saying MUST BE TRUE. I AM GOING TO SHOVE MY philosophy down your throat and you will accept it because I CANNOT ACCEPT THAT IT IS NOT TRUE. BECAUSE if I’m wrong, it means I fucked up. It means I am a fool for “settling” for an unhappy life, when I could actually be happy. And I’m not a fool… I have to be right.

What they’re all groaning is, “If I can’t be happy, you can’t be either.”

Refuse that poison. Don’t let anyone deceive you into thinking you can’t be happy, just because they aren’t happy themselves.

Ideas are like babies

Like a baby, an idea starts out pure and full of hope.

But a baby has to learn to crawl, then walk, then talk.

A baby needs to grow. And the only way it can grow is with people.

In the same way, an idea is nothing without its parent. It is frail and vulnerable. It cannot survive by itself. It will quickly vanish if its parent doesn’t nurture it.

But an idea needs more than its parents. It needs people. A person raised in isolation is not a healthy person. A person gains independence after tumbling in the real world.

In the same way, an idea needs to be pushed and bullied and endure and evolve. Only then can it mature.

Only the ideas that survive time and changing moods and hate are the ones that deserve to live.

So if you have an idea, it’s worthless until you do something about it. And then it’ll still be worthless, until you get over yourself… and let it play in the playground with the rowdy kids.

Q & A: “I don’t understand, but I’m too polite to say it”

I think it will be good if contributors have a chance to ‘publish’ or ‘make public’ their contributions. This will help create some form of privacy and also allow more publicity/ interest. At the end of the day, you don’t want to make things too complex as it will put people off. That is one of my main concerns about it at this stage. It’s a bit like a blog… a bit like a fluffpet… a bit like a RPG. If you get what I mean!

Thanks. These comments are valuable as I whip the place into shape. By the way, all contributions are “published” and “public”. I’m probably going to push the “pet” element into the background so it doesn’t distract new guests.

Yes, I agree it has to be simplified. So far it’s been a laboratory for a bunch of ideas I had. In the coming months, I will be trimming, distilling and simplifying things.

As they say, less is more, and more is lazy. I confess, I’ve been lazy. So, feedback like yours is what helps me decide “how” and “what” to clean up.

If you don’t mind, please create a Persona and make a contribution. Don’t worry about writing anything serious or breaking anything. (Idea: you can create a ____ Room for us).

There are some new interactions I want to discuss with you, but you can only see it after you create a post.

Without the dirty work, the good work can’t happen

Before any interesting work can happen, you first need a certain amount of plumbing. You first have to do the dirty work.

This takes a certain amount of grit. Because the mountain of poo may be high. The swamp may be full of gators. And it may be too foggy to see the green valley and blue waters on the other side.

Press on.

Eventually, you’ll get to a place where conversations can take place, and ideas can blossom.

The challenge to make the Generic feel Special

“When you try to please everyone, you will please no one”

When I dropped my son at “school” today, He got into a toy bus his teacher brought. It was a light collapsible frame painted to look like a yellow school bus. He drove his friends around with it.

Mom wasn’t there, so I took a video because I thought she’d like it. Smartphones are a little too convenient for  these things. After we said goodbye, I thought – that was a moment that was special to just our family.

How do you make something manufactured for many, feel special to one person? How can you make it feel as special as a mom receiving a photo of her son?